Vampires Suck trailer
A fitting title in more than one way
To Stephenie Meyers
Dear hac...Stephenie,
Well, you went and done it, dear. You screwed the pooch. F*cked the dawg. Rode the Hasselhoff. You ruined it for any hopes of a serious or at least decent vampire story to come out of the woodwork. You went and got yourself lampooned by those f*ckholes Friedberg and Seltzer. The only possible way those two could EVER get another job in Hollywood, after farting out absolute sh*t like Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie, is to tell a studio exec "Hey, let's take a giant crap on Twilight"! And BOOM, they go a job still.
Don't get me wrong, dear wannab... er, Stephenie, I do appreciate the sentiment of taking a few jabs at the shirtless werewolves and sparkly vampires, but those two are among the very few less-talented people than you who still are paid to dish out something even Tommy Chong can't get high enough to watch. Hell, they even included Lady GaGa among other insipid and unrelated pop-culture jabs in there.
I have to admit, watching the trailer to what will easily make my Bottom-5 of the year, that a few gags from it struck a chord. "it's in my contract, I gotta take my shirt off every 10 minutes", the Black Eyes Peas thing and the Team Edward girl taking a shovel to the face namely, but otherwise, I blame you for extending the "career" of those two. That's one MORE thing you should be ashamed of.
Sincerely yours,
Kristen Stewart - the girl who likes to bite the hands that feed her.
Posted by Fleetwood - 7/8/2010 8:23:04 PM
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